Tag: selfishness

Genesis 2

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Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. Genesis 2:24-25

Adam and Eve only had each other.

That was it.

Literally.

They had to rely on each other for all conversation, companionship, and love.

They didn’t have a mother or father to leave as they were all there was.

Moses, the author of Genesis, included verses 24-25 as, unlike Adam and Eve, we must choose to leave our parents.

When we marry, we become a new family, needing to rely only on each other instead of others.

That’s the design of marriage.

Becoming the other half.

Selfishness can enter, causing the balance to upend, but knowing we are to live for the other, common decency is expected. Demanded even.

Notice how comfortable they were simply existing with each other alone?

The absence of sin caused their minds to belong only to God and their surroundings, which included each other.

They weren’t distracted by things such as clothing or even work.

Sure, they had to find their food, cutting down the fruit, harvesting the veggies, or whatever they ate, but remember actual work was part of the punishment of sin.

Sin causes us to be distracted.

Not satisfied with what we have.

Always wanting more.

Let’s refocus again on God and what He has for us.

Boil it back down to the basics: God, His purpose for you, and your alignment with Him.

Because it will be good. Very good.

Photos by Isabella Struck, Chris Tyler, & Conscious Design on Unsplash

Selfish Switch

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For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. James 3:16

Isn’t the switch too easy?

Usually a moment of pure insanity.

One moment we are living for God…

And the next minute we are focused again on ourselves.

One minute we are speaking life to others…

And before we realize it, we’ve refocused again completely on self.

James reminds us selfishness breeds disorder and every evil thing.

Yuck. Can you picture the ugliness we spread when focused on ourselves?

Ignoring others breeds rejection in their minds.

Always placing your needs first spreads the superiority message.

And that’s just scratching the surface.

What do you generally focus on as you go about your day?

With what lens do you see life?

Your own lens or God’s?

May we stop switching back to our own.

May we look through God’s lens to see what He sees.

And may we choose to focus on what He has for us today.

Come along and make the switch with me.

Photos by Bravingbird on Unsplash

 

God’s Perfect Ways

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This God – His way is perfect; the word of the Lord proves true; He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him. Psalm 18:30

God’s way is perfect.

His very word proves true.

If His way is perfect, why do we ever stray out on our own?

Because we’re human, wishing to live for ourselves.

The temptation to rely on ourselves sometimes is too much.

We think we can do everything on our own.

But Psalm 18 reminds us God’s way is perfect.

Ours certainly is not. In our own strength, we will fail.

What if we instead ask God to help us walk His path?

Psalm 18 continues reminding us He is our shield.

Shields protect from the onslaught of things hurled at us.

But only if we decide to partner with Him and His ways for us.

Why on earth would we choose to walk separate from God?

Selfishness.

Sinful desires.

Could be simple like eating too much junk, knowing our bodies are God’s temple.

Or sneaking an answer on our essay, copying another’s words because we are lazy.

Or it could be worse – knowingly cheating on a test, our taxes, or (gasp) our spouse.

When we choose to walk with God, God promises we will walk the perfect path He has ordained for us.

Not only that, but He will be our shield, protecting us from the world’s sin.

He will be our refuge.

But we must choose Him.

Choose Him for every little thing.

And when we do, He promises to guide us, protect us, and be our refuge in this messy world.

When you put it that way, how can we not choose Him?

Photos by Grace Galligan, Hasse Lossius, Martin Kallur (IG: @mkallur), & Michanne Lisa on Unsplash

Daily Effort

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Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak. Matthew 26:41

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Walking in life-giving steps requires daily effort.

Deliberately stepping into what God has for you is a choice.

It’s rather easy to stumble, falling into death.

Death?

Walking into self-pity.

Agreeing with rejection.

Joining with unloving.

Listening to fear.

Satan knows our weaknesses.

Tempting us is rather easy as we are so used to succumbing to his pitiful ways.

We are so weak.

Yet, with God, we are strong.

So very strong, we have literally no idea.

No idea, whatsoever, what power is ours.

Power that can shut down the devil’s temptations in an instant.

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Guard yourself.

Guard myself, how?

Writing down your precious blessings from God.

Listing scriptures which proclaim the truth of God over the lies of Satan.

Tuning into worship music, filling your brain with the praises of God.

Telling fear to go.

Cancelling the assignments of rejection.

Declaring God’s power over all.

Then stepping back in line with life.

The life hidden under God’s all-powerful wings.

But you must also choose to stay.

Choose to stay aligned with God.

Completely.

Walking with God produces life.

He’ll take all of your fears and lay them to rest.

Believe Him.

Because He is life.

Your life nestled safely in His hands.

Photos by Olia Gozha & Ben White on Unsplash

Focus

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Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

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What is your focus?

Yourself?

Your needs, wants, and desires?

I get it.

It’s totally natural.

When you focus on your own self, nothing else matters except for your happiness.

Satisfying your needs.

Children naturally look out for number one and our job as parents is to curb that selfishness.

Tantrums usually result when children have little consequence for displaying that me-monster.

You’ve seen the horror unfold in stores.

Good parents are those that take the child out, not giving in.

Hopefully, as we grow into adults, we focus less on ourselves, and more on other people.

Parenting thrusts us into this role whether we want to or not.

I can remember staying home for years with the children.

My needs were second to theirs; however, their daily “after lunch quiet times” away from me provided sanity, key to my mental state.

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Focusing on others with physical work is relatively easy.

Physically hard, yes, but easy in a way.

Unless you are grumbling and complaining as you work, thinking of only your “put out” state of mind.

On the other hand, mentally focusing on others and not yourself is an entirely different ballgame.

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For example, what if your spouse communicates differently from you?

Should you focus on your natural point of view or theirs instead?

Imagine the difference if you focused first on your spouse, turning to yourself last.

What if your students at school or your own children at home seem to come from another world entirely?

Enter that world and look around.

Mentally.

Little people need authority from parents and teachers, but the focus can still be them.

Authority which oozes love and acceptance.

Think of Jesus.

He would patiently listen to children, calming them down with his love and authority.

And if He was married to your spouse, He would think of them first.

Always.

As Christians, Jesus DOES live in us.

We can be His hands and feet.

With strangers.

With children.

With our spouse.

The next time an issue crops up, don’t immediately switch the focus to yourself.

Keep focusing on Jesus.

Give yourself a time out if needed.

Yes, moms need those as well. 🙂

Invite God to wash your mind with His.

To give you His focus.

To see what He wants you to see.

And to ignore what He wants you to ignore.

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Photos by Elena Taranenko, Dmitry Ratushny,  Joanna Nix, & Keegan Houser on Unsplash

Horribly Disappointed

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Return to your stronghold, O prisoners of hope; today I declare that I will restore to you double. Zechariah 9:12

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When you are horribly disappointed at something in life…

When there is not a thing you can do about it…

What then?

What is your response?

Wallow in self pity, relishing the mood of despair hanging over your head?

While that might be fun for a moment, it will send your mood straight into the toilet.

There is a better way.

I like to make a list.

A list of my blessings.

I try to keep it updated, but I admit, I do a horrid job at best.

Alternatively, you can also compare your bleak disappointment to something even worse.

That definitely puts things into perspective.

 The point is this: switch your focus to the precious things God has given you.

Like that list of blessings we all should have somewhere.

Or encouragement whispered to you from your dear friend or spouse.

Because, when you focus on the blessings instead of the disappointment, you will pass God’s test with flying colors.

And your mood will stay out of the toilet.

In fact, you’ll be quite pleasant.

Respond to life with grace.

Your example will be a stepping stone to God Himself.

A stepping stone to God instead of a stumbling block to Satan.

So, what will your next disappointment turn into…?

Life, or death?

Photos by Casey Fyfe & Matthew Smith on Unsplash

Audience of One

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“You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?” Genesis 16:13

Pulled the chicken out of the oven and assembled the many dinner plates.

Peas, macaroni & cheese, and chicken on my blue dishes looked appetizing.

As I said out loud to thin air, “Good job, Amy”, I knew at that moment God had heard me.

I felt His smile.

Then it hit me.

I work for God.

Who do you work for?

Ok yes, your boss who signs your paycheck.

Your sweet spouse as you help each other tackle life.

Can’t forget the little people who depend on you for continuing their very existence.

We could add friends, church, volunteering, and society.

Let’s face it – we work for many.

Lots of people depend on us.

Too bad the amount of work we do doesn’t equal the thanks flowing to our ears.

What?

Most of what we do is unnoticed.

Unsung.

No thank you’s.

And that’s ok.

Why?

Because God sees it.

He notices.

And He’s the One we work for.

Every time you pull dinner from the oven

Fold sweet smelling laundry

Wipe up spills you never created

Greet a lonely neighbor

Go the extra mile at work

Cut out box tops for your child’s school

Soothe a crying baby

You are noticed.

Next time you do something for someone, remember God is well pleased.

Very pleased.

You helped God smile.

And that, in the end, is all that matters.

Because we work for an audience of One.

“….but as we go on in grace, we find that God is glorifying Himself here and now, in the present minute.  If we have God’s say-so behind us, the most amazing strength comes, and we learn to sing in the ordinary days and ways….”  Oswald Chambers

Photos by Ogulcan Ercal, Andrés Gómez, & Daniil Silantev on Unsplash

Choosing Misery

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For the despondent, every day brings trouble; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast. Proverbs 15:15

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I know someone.

 So full of bitterness, anger, and self pity, she can hardly function.

Slightest incident can set off a torrent of panic.

Fear of losing control.

Of her world.

If  life doesn’t go her way, she pouts.

Complains.

Measures life under the lens of displeasure.

Easy to spot.

Even for kids to see.

Either she doesn’t recognize how she acts, or doesn’t care.

Not sure which it is.

If guilt doesn’t work, she tries punishing those in her path.

It’s sad.

I look at her and am reminded of how not to be.

When I am in fear of losing control, do I react like her?

When someone does something I don’t appreciate, do I throw back poison darts?

It’s unfortunate to have such a symbol of bitterness, yet I am grateful.

Grateful to have the reminder to pray for her.

Grateful to have an example of how not to act.

And grateful I have God who helps me.

From the balcony of heaven, will it matter?

Will your bitterness cover over the blessings of life, fully masking their pleasure?

Will becoming so upset make your life richer?

How many of life’s happiest moments will be experienced without you-

Because you were so stuck in your bitterness you couldn’t see the beautiful life God had loaned you.

Or will your anger cause you to live without having really lived?

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Photos by Francesco Gallarotti & Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

Obvious

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Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. Ephesians 5:1

It should be obvious I am Your child, Lord.

That I spend time with You.

Sweet Jesus, please give me Your eyes.

I want to see things through Your lens.

Your filter.

I want to see things as they really are.

Not as I imagine them to be.

Help me see Your ways working.

Silence the things I imagine as they are not of You.

Allow me to see only what You want me to see.

And Lord, please give me Your ears.

Help me to hear Your thoughts.

Only.

Your ways.

Your ideas.

Your truth.

Only.

Filter out the noise demanding my focus.

Silence the thoughts in my head that question actions and words of others.

Let me hear the pure sound of their love and Yours.

And let them hear mine.

Let me be Your hands and feet.

I want to bless others as You have blessed me.

Put Your hand over my mouth when I’m tempted to speak ill.

Give me words to speak when You have something to say.

Close my ears to lies and open my ears to the truth.

Cleanse me from the inside out.

I have absolutely nothing without You.

But with You, I have everything.

Photos by Wim van ‘t Einde, Natalie Thornley, & Kevin Young on Unsplash

Utter Selfishness

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Even a child makes himself known by his acts, by whether his conduct is pure and upright. Proverbs 20:11

I stood face to face with selfishness last week.

Utter full-blown rebellion, actually.

It was ugly.  Super ugly.

It screamed in my face, demanding attention.

Demanding I cater to it’s selfish whims.

And when I refused,  the reaction was not pretty.

The many witnesses saw how not to act.

How silly it looks to demand one’s way so obnoxiously.

And me, I was thankful the child was only mine during the school day.

But then it hit me – selfishness stinks in any form.

Am I different then the child in my school room?

When I put my own needs before others, I’m no different.

My demands might not be so obvious.

And when I don’t get my way, I never scream.

But sometimes I’m selfish.

And that stinks.

It’s hard to continually place other’s needs before your own.

As parents, we know too well how little time we have for ourselves.

Precious time.

But the next time you are interrupted by someone’s needs,

don’t have an instant reaction to gripe.

Pour yourself out.

Because with God’s strength, you’ll never run out.

God will keep you in perfect peace when your mind is focused on Him.

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Photos by TK & Linoleum Creative Collective on Unsplash