Loving Your Spouse

By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches. Proverbs 24:3-4

Communication is fundamental to any relationship.

Not only communicating, but listening to the other person.

Really listening.

Not half listening while also paying attention to your phone.

Not listening just to let them vent, then forgetting all of it and moving on.

Real communication is when two people come to an understanding that things need to and must change.

One voices a need.

The other listens and tries their best to understand that need.

While talking and listening are definitely important, the next step is the most.

Changing.

Actually doing the thing talked about.

That’s when your spouse knows you were actually listening.

And not nodding just to keep the other content with listening.

Action speaks louder than words.

Don’t just tell your spouse you love them, show them.

Don’t just nod your head in agreement, do the thing you agreed upon.

Don’t just give lip service to undone promises, actually do them.

Show your love in a big way.

A noticing way.

A personal way.

You know what to do.

Aren’t they more than worth it?

I know two people who have recently both lost their own precious spouse to heaven.

They’d admonish you to shower your spouse with love, not stopping.

Ever.

They wish they still could.

But you can.

So do it.

Photos by Ryan Franco on UnsplashKelly Sikkema, & Kiwihug on Unsplash

Stand Up

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. 1 Corinthians 16:13

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When it comes down to it-

When the rubber meets the road-

When the time has come-

What will you decide?

What will your choice be?

Will you stand up?

Mock?

Or stay seated?

When life turns a corner….

When left unsupervised….

When no one who matters is looking…

What will you decide?

No one can see your heart.

Literally, no one can see your true self.

But we can see your actions.

Your words.

Your inaction.

Those reveal your true self.

They witness the desires of your heart.

So I suppose, yes, we can see it.

Your true self.

Clearly.

But beyond the rest of the world, your God sees.

Nothing escapes His notice.

Nothing.

Whether you trust Him for your life or not, He sees.

He sees everything.

Absolutely everything.

Your tears He tenderly watches when no one else is there.

Your triumphs He rejoices as He longs to see you thrive.

But He also sees your blunders.

Witnesses these as well.

When you bend to the world, spewing forth ugly words, He sees.

When you succumb to popularity, demeaning those inferior to you, He sees.

When your will bends to the winds determined by your peers, He sees.

When you mock authority in secret or in public, He sees.

When you pretend to follow God, He sees.

When you laugh with degrading jokes, participating in your heart, He sees.

He sees and He knows.

While you might succeed at fooling the world, you will never fool Him.

God, our ultimate judge.

Stand up for what you know is right.

Stand tall among the crowd.

When you do, that little guilty feeling which always accompanies an error big or small, will dissipate.

Be a light.

In this world, you’ll either bring light or darkness wherever you go.

Which would you rather do?

Next time you face a questionable situation, will you stand up, mock, or stay seated?

Stand up.

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Photos by Vladislav BabienkoJavier Allegue Barros, & Helena Lopes on Unsplash

 

Real Life

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. Romans 7:18

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Life is real, folks.

Messy.

Super messy.

Why?

Broken world.

Selfishness.

Lies of the enemy we believe.

Death.

Are you aware that when God created our world, death was not yet present?

The Garden of Eden was brimming with life.

Death was nowhere until sin entered the world.

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The death that surrounds us takes many forms.

Depression or deep grief is like death as in it robs us of hours or days.

Death of dreams happen when life becomes twisted and hard.

When we no longer are able to choose what we wish, faced instead with choices we hate.

And then there’s literal death.

Loved ones who leave us.

Unknown babies who grow in heaven.

Not to mention our own selves.

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Real life is not Instagram happy faces.

It’s not Pinterest worthy decorated homes or birthday cakes.

It’s not a perfect family photo.

Sometimes, it’s gut-wrenching grief.

But pulling yourself up and starting anew.

It’s homes that are not always happy, with laundry overflowing, and lop-sided birthday cakes made with love.

It’s usually perfectly messy homes that are loving and comfy.

It’s real family relationships with yelling and arguments, filled with selfish moments.

But family relationships which genuinely care and in the end, hug and love no matter what.

Real life is not perfect.

Real life is messy.

Frankly, it can be disastrous at times.

But when we all admit our imperfections, life becomes simpler.

No, we don’t have to live up to that imperfect expectation.

We’re not perfect.

But God, who created us and never makes mistakes, knew that.

He knows it.

And He loves us anyway.

Let’s stop pretending everything is OK.

Because when we admit it’s not, God steps in and fills our many cracks.

Me, I have lots.

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Photos by Steve JohnsonAlice AchterhofMike Petrucci, & NASA on Unsplash

The Other Side

Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. Ephesians 5:17

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The devil is laughing.

Literally full of glee.

People are so dumb and we give him plenty to chuckle about.

8th grade boys writing about how dumb serving the less fortunate is.

A daughter who ignores her parents and sneaks out anyhow.

A student who steals answers from his teacher.

A cell phone which demands the attention of the husband, ignoring real life instead.

A company who devalues their workers, looking instead at the bottom line.

An advertising company selling inferior products, lying to their loyal customers.

A news show inflaming facts, intentionally stretching the truth to anger the population.

And that’s just the things we see…..

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A child’s snide remark, confirming the lie in the mother’s head, declaring her unfit.

A bully’s words sinking into a teen, confirming their lowered status.

A boss devaluing his employee through unnecessary long hours away from home.

A young adult who moves out turning her face from God despite her upbringing.

The devil is laughing.

Because we are so fooled.

He shows us people with whom to compare, stirring jealousy and discontent.

He creates doubt in our abilities whether it is dinner, meetings, or haircuts.

He causes anger when he convinces us how important we are compared to others.

Why do we fall for his foolish ways?

Because we are human.

Fallen.

We choose it.

But there is another choice.

Life.

Specifically, the tree of life.

Remember the Garden?

There was a choice handed to Adam and Eve.

If you eat, and disobey God, you will be like Him.

You know what happened.

Folks, the devil has been laughing at us from almost the very beginning.

Time to stop.

Time to choose life every time the devil provides us with his choice.

His days are numbered.

That’s why he works on us.

He wants to take as many as he can to the pit.

Or, with Christians, he wants us to live in the pit each and every day, decreasing God’s influence on others.

Ouch.

But laugh instead at him, because the jokes on him.

We win.

Let me hear you laugh.

We have already won, we currently win, and we will always win.

Why?

Because God has done it all for us.

Choose life and live as if it matters.

Turn the tables and laugh instead at the devil.

Feels great, doesn’t it?

Photos by Ben WhiteJustin YoungTim MossholderLucas LenziPriscilla Du PreezMarcus Cramer & Scott Webb on Unsplash

 

Disappointing People

Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant. Galatians 1:10

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Ready for a bombshell?

Mind blowing reality check?

People are not perfect.

Shocker?

People will fail you.

Regularly.

No, really?

We often become disappointed in people.

Could even say all the time.

It’s almost like we expect them to be perfect, especially in their actions towards us.

We expect people to act entirely better then ourselves.

It’s almost like we allow ourselves to behave however we please, expecting others to never falter. Ever

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Whose standard are you holding yourself to?

I’m not asking for perfection from you.

You can’t be perfect either.

Just don’t expect perfection from others.

You do, and you’ll continually be disappointed.

Continually.

Spread the grace of God you’ve been given to others.

Love them even when they fail you.

Even when they disappoint.

Newsflash.

I can guarantee that you, in turn, also regularly disappoint them.

You’ll want the same grace extended from them to you, regularly, won’t you?

Give grace.

Walk in forgiveness.

And smile with absolute gratefulness at the blessings of those surrounding you.

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Photos by Nicole Honeywill , Pascal Lottenbach , & Ivana Djudic on Unsplash