Tag: offense

70 times 7

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Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! Matthew 18:21-22

This is one of the greatest difficulties we face as Christians.

Forgiveness. Releasing the offender from you.

Freeing them from their offense.

Even when they don’t ask.

Especially when they don’t ask.

How many times?

Seventy times seven.

Four hundred ninety times. Unlimited.

What if the person has offended you that many times?

Then for you, it’s four hundred ninety. And counting.

Doesn’t mean you allow abuse to continue. Or offense to keep knocking you down again and again.

But normal daily interactions often yield conflict.

And aside from Jesus asking us to do this, we do have a choice.

We can forgive or not.

If we forgive, we release ourselves from bitterness. From the prison of unjustly behavior revenge.

Is it funner to stay in the prison, stuck and alone? I’ll be the first to admit yes.

It’s where we nurse our wounds unprovoked by others. It’s where we feel justified in making others pay for their deeds. Hard time is what we want.

But the prison of bitterness is also where we stay stuck. Miserable. And you know who is too pleased when we do? The enemy. The father of lies, who tells us our prison is better accommodations than freedom’s path.

The good news is this: God. Not only does God know forgiveness is superior for our relationships, and our physical or emotional health, He helps us through the process.

We don’t have to feel like forgiving. We simply need to choose and obey God.

Ask God to help you forgive the offender. Release them back into the arms of Jesus. Ask God to fill your sense of injustice with peace, replacing the bitterness with joy.

God has promised to right every wrong. He’s the ultimate judge and your defender.

Practice this today as God unlocks your prison of bitterness.

It’s incredibly difficult. But you must trust God more than you trust your bitterness.

We don’t want the enemy happy with our location, do we?

Change your address today. God’s waiting to walk you to freedom.

Oh, and if your well worn path takes your feet right back to the prison out of habit?

Stop and turn. God will help you every single time.

Photos by Lili Popper, Jametlene Reskp, Cody Otto, & Jacob Bentzinger on Unsplash

Living From Forgiveness

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Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13

Are you living from God’s forgiveness for you?

If you’ve surrendered your heart to Jesus, He’s forgiven you all your sins.

Often we don’t realize just how sinful we are.

And when we do, God’s forgiveness means that much more.

Feels so great, doesn’t it? To feel forgiven?

I can remember lying to my grandfather when I was about six years old.

I had gotten the Little Professor calculator for Christmas.

Basically, it was a small light up math game and I couldn’t wait to sneak it into my bed.

What six year old wouldn’t want to see it lit up in the dark?

After I went to bed, my grandfather, who had been injured in WW2, slowly climbed the stairs, which were very hard for him.

Coming into my room, he asked me if he could see my new Little Professor calculator.

Not wanting him to have it, I actually climbed out of bed and pretended to look for it with him in my room.

Giving up, he said it was just fine. He’d look at it in the morning.

Back in bed, the calculator no longer held any interest. None.

My tummy felt awful lying to my grandfather.

How long did I hold in this lie?

An entire year. I literally thought about it almost every day.

It ate at me. How could I have lied to him?

One day I could no longer take it.

Climbing onto my father’s lap, I confessed.

I waited for my huge punishment.

As an adult looking back at this scene, I’m guessing my parents were trying to stifle a giggle.

They forgave me instantly.

I climbed down and felt like I could fly.

Ran to my brother’s room and played cars with him, even though that was my least favorite activity.

But I didn’t care. I was free. I was so happy. My smile was frozen to my face.

My six-year-old self began to live from forgiveness. It was pure freedom.

Ask for forgiveness if you’ve wronged someone. You’ll feel so much better, owning your behavior.

And if your offender fails to ask you for forgiveness? Forgive them anyway.

You’ll fling off the burden of offense and smile in spite of the situation.

Don’t let others block you from living from forgiveness.

Seventy-times seven.

Ask for forgiveness. Forgive others.

Choose today to live from the freedom of forgiveness.

Photos by Laura Pocho, Mary Blackwey , &  Ben White on Unsplash

Your Glory

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Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

This verse is not an easy one to read.

It’s way more fun to keep an offense, especially when you’re completely justified.

And we always are justified in our own mind, yes?

Looking at the first part, it’s easy to understand.

When we have good sense, meaning solid countenance or common sense, we don’t get angry often.

We don’t allow anger to grab us when we are in our right minds.

Trouble is, other people cause us to exit our good sense, trying to justify our offense at them.

After all, they wronged us! It’s not fair!

When we have good sense, we focus on Whose we are.

Our feet are solidly planted in our relationship with God first.

We know God is living through us, and we fully trust Him to provide us His strength, wisdom, and peace.

Could even be that we ask God how to react before we do. We train our brain to do just that. Putting God first.

So, back to the ouchy part of the verse: not taking offense.

Proverbs says it’s our glory to overlook an offense.

Means we could be offended, but we choose not to be.

Because we remain peaceful, the glory is still ours.

Our mood isn’t in the toilet.

Clouds are not hanging around.

Others can be down in the dumps, but we’re not.

It’s still sunny where we’re at, because we are choosing not to associate with the other person’s offensive behavior.

It’s their problem, not ours.

Is it more fun to take their offense and make them pay?

Sure.

But in the process, you are robbed of peace. You are robbed of minutes or hours, stewing in what they did to you. You are robbed of God’s glory shining through you.

Jesus could have put people verbally down so many times, but he regularly chose to overlook offenses.

And glory remained His.

You can pity others, if it helps.

You can feel badly they are stuck in the mud of getting back at life.

But don’t stay there or you’ll think of yourself as better than them.

And that’s almost as bad as keeping an offense.

So shrug them off.

Remain steadfast in God’s good sense.

And keep your glory as you overlook the other’s offense.

It’s hard, but it’s completely worth it.

Photos by Ingmar H, Gene Dizon, Patrick Fore, & name_ gravity on Unsplash

Hardest Thing

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Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:13

What do you think is the hardest cross to bear as a Christian?

Let me put it another way.

God asks us to become more like Him.

When we accept God as our Savior, He begins to transform us into who He made us to be.

We begin to walk His path, noticing what He notices.

We begin to speak to others, speaking with the words He wants to share.

We begin to have compassion, spreading His love to those around us.

When we ask God for His salvation, we become His.

His to transform.

But we’re human with human desires, wants, feelings, and actions.

Plus our soul is full of cracks from lies, and our broken world.

When God asks us to forgive others who have not asked, it’s a bitter pill to swallow.

For me, this is the hardest thing God ask of me.

Why?

Because it’s personal.

Personally painful when the other person doesn’t deserve it.

But when I don’t forgive, that person continues to strike blows after the words have faded away.

On the other hand when you forgive, you simply release that person back into the arms of God.

You let the offense fall away from your tightly gripped hands.

You allow the boulder to roll down and off your back.

Is it fun to hold onto unforgiveness because you’re justified?

Of course.

But is it worth the cost?

The cost of your peace?

The cost of a broken spot in your relationship?

Nope.

God forgave you for way more then He’s asking you to forgive now.

You didn’t deserve it either.

But God forgave you all your sins.

All your sins from yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Allow God’s strength to help you release your unforgiveness.

I know, they don’t deserve it, but that’s beside the point.

God asks us to forgive. Period.

Swallow your pride, forgive, and let God move in your life and theirs.

God will help, and His peace will rush in, helping you each time you choose to forgive.

Photos by Jametlene Reskp, Cody Otto, Felix Koutchinski, & Patrick Fore on Unsplash

Expectations

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Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

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Why live with chips?

Not talking about the potato or tortilla kind.

Chips on your shoulders.

Offense.

Irritation.

Failed expectations of life or others.

Why carry those around?

Shedding doom and gloom with every step?

Because you have a right.

You were wronged.

According to your expectation, you need some sort of justice.

And you’ll keep that chip on your shoulder until your wrong has been righted.

At least that’s what you think.

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Is your wrong justified?

Maybe.

Possibly even definately.

But don’t move your unmet expectations into sin.

Because then YOU’RE in the wrong.

Sinning while offended looks like many things.

Silent treatment.

Snarky comments.

Eye rolling.

Refusing to participate in activities.

Withdrawing.

Or full fledged anger.

Those, my friends, are sin.

When you are wronged, your expectations are at fault.

If someone failed to meet your expected needs, forgive.

If someone forgets an important date, forgive.

If heated words are offered in exchange for your questions, forgive.

When you allow God to free you from keeping the offense, you are set free.

Literally.

The feeling of freedom far surpasses the prison of someone’s offense.

Live within the forgivness of God.

Extend your grace from God to others.

Ask God to solve your situations of doubt.

Instead of living in fantasy land of perfectly fulfilled expectations, live in the grace of God.

Aligning your expectations to God’s instead.

God will ALWAYS meet your expectations of Him.

And in fact, He’ll far surpass them.

Everytime.

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Photos by Dawid Zawiła and Ian Schneider on Unsplash

Release

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Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32

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What if you decided to release all of the junk?

All of the junk you keep in your brain?

Un-forgiveness of others.

Memorized list of how each hurt you?

Deservedly yes, but it was so yesterday.

You’re only hurting yourself, you know.

Internally, your body reacts poorly when you hold onto things.

How do you know if you still have junk?

The thought of that person brings it all up again.

Washes over you like a sickness.

What if you released it?

Deliberately deciding not to hold onto it, no matter what it is?

Declaring yourself unoffendable?

What if, the very next time someone “hurts” you by their words, you, instead of launching into poor me, decided not to claim that pain at all?

Refusing to participate?

You’d enjoy freedom.

If people cannot offend you , you will remain peaceful.

Not a license to turn you into a doormat.

Talking about little things.

Snide remark from a child.

Spouse not treating you perfectly.

Taking a boss’ criticism personally instead of separating it into doing your job better.

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Jesus wants His kingdom to come here on earth.

Was He wanting us to live our salvation in freedom on earth?

Not wrapped up by the bondage of past offenses?

Freedom in Christ means the freedom to forgive.

Forgive and forget.

Doesn’t mean you are blindly trusting others who have proven themselves unworthy.

But the pain isn’t kept.

The pain doesn’t keep you in bondage.

Your body cries out for freedom.

Your mind cries out for freedom.

Your soul is free.

Let’s choose that freedom today.

The choice is yours.

 

Photos by pan xiaozhen, Gianandrea Villa, Robert Metz, & Jason Dent on Unsplash

Taking Offense

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Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

As a general rule, are people out to get you?

Overall, are your loved ones decent and loving?

I’m talking about deep into the heart.

Come on- keep looking.

Bottom line? People love you.

You know I’m right.

They’re not out to get you.

So stop acting like they are.

Stop getting offended at the slightest infraction.

Are you so fragile that one word can send you into a puddle of tears?

So insecure that a crooked misleading glance or sigh can ruin your day?

Or send you into a torrent of angry retorts?

I hope not.

But I see that in so many.

Choose life.

Choose to believe the best about your child or spouse.

Or, gasp, parent.

Don’t hold others to a higher standard than even your own behavior demands.

You can’t behave badly and expect others to never follow suit.

Overlook things.

Because people are not out to get you.

Instead of focusing on yourself and your needs alone, turn your attention to others.

Smile and let things roll off your back.

Don’t hold it in, gathering stones to keep.

Let go of the stones.

Let go of the offense that was never given.

Leave it all at the cross and take your peace.

You are loved.

Photos by Shawn Rain & Iva Rajović on Unsplash