Tag: responsible

Common Conflict

Published on by amylinneaLeave a comment

Do not take revenge on others or continue to hate them, but love your neighbors as you love yourself. I am the Lord. Leviticus 19:18

Are you ever shocked at the ugliness which can pour out of you or your loved ones?

It’s as if sin has a literal face. And sometimes that face is your own.

Relationships really shouldn’t be all that complicated.

Jesus wants us to always put the other person first.

If we all did just that, conflict would evaporate.

If we all loved the other like Jesus loves us, we’d rejoice at serving the other.

We’d rejoice at allowing the other to choose.

We’d be happy to accommodate their reasonable wishes.

But when our flesh demands attention, when ourselves get in the way, conflict occurs.

And once it begins, one rarely wants to succeed ground to the other party, especially because they are always totally wrong, yes?

Since conflict will come yet again, what is your plan?

Will you deal as it comes? Take one for the team? Or be ready with the first punch?

Ask God how He would have you react. Before the next conflict.

Ask God to hold your temper. Ask Him to hold your words. Ask Him to hold your heart.

While we cannot control others, we can control ourselves. We can control ourselves as we invite God to have our whole selves.

When we submit to God, giving Him everything, it includes our tempers. Our wanting to rise up to defend ourselves no matter the cost.

Am I implying we should become doormats to ill? Heck no.

I am also not referring to abusive behavior towards you.

We’re talking normal everyday conflict. Most of it can be diffused by one, you, who is allowing Jesus full control of their heart, mind, and body.

Yet, often our responses invite the enemy to have a hay day with our relationships. Often our ill retorts throw fuel to a fire, which needs nothing to burn.

You are responsible for you. Within normal relationship conflict, will you throw fuel to the fire, or will you calmly stand as a wall the fire cannot penetrate?

Even if the other has lost all sense of reason, you can stay fastened to God. To His calm stand in the storm.

So before your next normal conflict arises, plan your response. Because when it comes, it’s terribly hard to choose the high road.

Choose it today. And tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.

Forgiveness seventy times seven seems an impossibility when wronged by a loved one. But it’s how Jesus wants us to respond.

After all, we have wronged Jesus many more times than that. Yet He still patiently waits for your precious, little heart, too.

Photos by Kelly Sikkema, Dirk Ribbler, & Pin Adventure Map on Unsplash

Holding Your Tongue

Published on by amylinneaLeave a comment

It’s so easy to defend yourself.

Sometimes, you should.

You must.

But other times, it’s preferable to keep quiet, allowing the other to make a fool of themselves.

We are responsible only for ourselves.

Our actions.

Our words.

Our choices.

When you become agitated with your spouse, pause.

Takes maturity to look at things from their perspective.

Humility.

You could be wrong, you know.

And if you are, own it!

And if you’re not, say your peace in a quiet manner, and leave it.

You cannot convince others of your viewpoint if they refuse to move from theirs.

Remember, it’s their choice to walk in your shoes or not.

Just Iike it’s your choice to view theirs.

Goes for friendships, neighbors, co-workers, and your boss.

When your point of view is negated, your feelings thrown to the wall, you have a choice.

You can participate with the foolishness, upping the ante, or you can choose to walk away with your dignity intact.

I know what Jesus would choose, as he regularly chose it while walking this earth.

He chose the high road.

Make your point and go, feeling a bit of pity instead for their ignorance.

Fasten your crown, and declare once again, “None of this moves me.”

Photos by Shana Van Roosbroek & david laws on Unsplash

Not Responsible

Published on by amylinnea1 Comment

When others choose, we are not responsible.

Make sense?

Is that an eye-opening statement or is it common sense to you?

We cannot control other people.

Everyone makes their own choices.

That includes your children.

When they are small, or still under your roof, you guide them to the right choices, giving them consequences when they poorly choose.

Why?

Because you are their mentor. Their guide. Their parent. Their authority.

When children grow out from your nest, their choices are their own.

Does not reflect you. At all.

When we acknowledge we are not responsible, we must recognize we cannot change others either.

We cannot beg our children to do what we want. Nor should we.

Decisions must be made on their own. Within their own conscience.

What can we do when our children make choices we deem unacceptable?

Love them anyways.

Be there. Fully. Not accepting sin, but accepting them. Always.

And we wait. We wait for them to come back.

While we wait, we pray. We get on our knees for their very souls who used to praise His name.

We know we aren’t responsible, but we feel we are. Don’t scoop up that burden.

Simply return them to God. He loves them more than you. His heart breaks when they think only of themselves.

You are not responsible for anyone else but yourself. Keep yourself in check. And give the rest to Him.

Photos by Max Goncharov, Kelly Sikkema, & Japheth Mast on Unsplash