Tag: bitterness

Miserable by Choice

Published on by amylinnea2 Comments

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

There once was a miserable lady, who lived in a cottage near the edge of the forest.

She lived by herself and had grown to an old age.

Her many belongings gave her comfort since her relationships were complicated.

Her loneliness was compounded by her attitude as she continued to blame everyone and everything for her misery.

Everyone except herself.

Looking back, she had lived a good life.

She was accomplished, pretty, and comfortable.

On the outside she was the picture of health.

But she was deathly afraid.

Afraid of what, you may ask?

Letting go. Forgiveness. Not being in control.

Surrendering and accepting life.

And change.

To protect herself, she lashed out and declared herself “Mrs. Always Right.”

Her loved ones and friends never spent much time with her, because her bitterness was easily spread.

Her cottage was nestled on the edge of the great forest.

It was so beautiful – once.

Her memory smiled as she recalled all the beautiful years spent in the forest.

Simply lovely.

But her frown would always return and stay firmly planted on her face when she recalled the devastating fire that had swept through her precious forest.

Everything had burned down.

All the trees, flowers, and life.

The forest was like that for years.

Too long, actually.

And when things look bad for years, it’s easy to forget the beauty.

One day, the forest began to regrow.

New life had sprung all over the place.

Months went by and suddenly the forest was beautiful again.

Stunning, actually.

Radiant.

But she could not see it.

When the lady looked at her beloved forest, all she could see was destruction.

She could not see all the beauty.

Her bitterness had changed her forever.

Her eyesight would not allow her to see the goodness.

She refused to acknowledge her new beautiful surroundings, choosing instead to remember the fire and how her forest once had been.

Are you blind, too? Miserable by choice?

Do you only see what once was, refusing to recognize God’s new blessings in your life?

Allow God to enter, letting His new blessings flood your heart with promise and thankfulness.

There is no need to be miserable by choice.

Choose instead to be thankful as God will never leave your side.

His new plans will be great. God says so.

Photos by Chastagner Thierry, Gustav Gullstrand,  kazuend, & Bruce Hong on Unsplash

Forgiving Anyway

Published on by amylinneaLeave a comment

For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Matthew 6:14-15

Are you harboring bitterness? It’s easy to.

When wronged unjustly, we feel the need to hold onto it, somehow justifying ourselves.

When kept close, it grows roots deep down, affecting thoughts, even remembering things incorrectly.

When the root keeps growing, we close our ears against anything that touches the root.

We love feeling bitter, not wanting to give room to love.

Is there any area in your life that is filled with bitterness, crowding out love?

When wronged, we have two choices: forgive and let go, or not forgive, holding onto bitterness.

It’s not easy to choose forgiveness, especially when the other person doesn’t deserve it.

We were wronged!

Bitterness seems familiar when we are used to holding grudges. It’s almost comforting to keep it close, justifying your continued actions as a result.

The prison of bitterness keeps only one person captive: you.

Relationships suffer and die when you choose that prison.

I completely understand wanting to stay for awhile. It feels safe. But it’s only a trap.

Ask God to help heal your heart.

To forgive with his strength, not yours.

To release the bitterness grown so familiar.

Ephesians 4:31–32 says “Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”

When you think about the mercy God has shown you, it’s easier to forgive others.

God asks us to forgive those who sin against us in Matthew 6.

Ephesians 4 asks us to be kind and forgiving.

Goes against our flesh for sure.

But God is here to help you. He asks us to forgive and He’ll help you do just that.

Ask Him and you’ll soon walk freely into the freedom of God’s forgiveness.

Photos by Annie Spratt & Lee 琴 on Unsplash

70 times 7

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Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven! Matthew 18:21-22

This is one of the greatest difficulties we face as Christians.

Forgiveness. Releasing the offender from you.

Freeing them from their offense.

Even when they don’t ask.

Especially when they don’t ask.

How many times?

Seventy times seven.

Four hundred ninety times. Unlimited.

What if the person has offended you that many times?

Then for you, it’s four hundred ninety. And counting.

Doesn’t mean you allow abuse to continue. Or offense to keep knocking you down again and again.

But normal daily interactions often yield conflict.

And aside from Jesus asking us to do this, we do have a choice.

We can forgive or not.

If we forgive, we release ourselves from bitterness. From the prison of unjustly behavior revenge.

Is it funner to stay in the prison, stuck and alone? I’ll be the first to admit yes.

It’s where we nurse our wounds unprovoked by others. It’s where we feel justified in making others pay for their deeds. Hard time is what we want.

But the prison of bitterness is also where we stay stuck. Miserable. And you know who is too pleased when we do? The enemy. The father of lies, who tells us our prison is better accommodations than freedom’s path.

The good news is this: God. Not only does God know forgiveness is superior for our relationships, and our physical or emotional health, He helps us through the process.

We don’t have to feel like forgiving. We simply need to choose and obey God.

Ask God to help you forgive the offender. Release them back into the arms of Jesus. Ask God to fill your sense of injustice with peace, replacing the bitterness with joy.

God has promised to right every wrong. He’s the ultimate judge and your defender.

Practice this today as God unlocks your prison of bitterness.

It’s incredibly difficult. But you must trust God more than you trust your bitterness.

We don’t want the enemy happy with our location, do we?

Change your address today. God’s waiting to walk you to freedom.

Oh, and if your well worn path takes your feet right back to the prison out of habit?

Stop and turn. God will help you every single time.

Photos by Lili Popper, Jametlene Reskp, Cody Otto, & Jacob Bentzinger on Unsplash

Let Go and Live

Published on by amylinnea1 Comment

And when you stand praying, forgive if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven may also forgive you your sins. Mark 11:25

How many offenses do you carry?

How many follow you while you go about your day?

Dozens?

Hundreds?

Thousands?

Even one is too many.

Why?

Because offenses discolor our moods.

They cloud the lens we view life.

Not only do offenses keep us in moods not worthy of companionship, they cause us to stink.

Ever been around someone easily offended?

You tend to step back, because you don’t want to get near their odor.

Those people are obvious.

But there’s another type of offense.

It’s the subtle hurt you carry because of unforgiveness.

Yes, it’s probably justified as you were wronged, but you still have a choice.

You can choose to let go and forgive, or keep the hurt and the offense.

Choosing to keep it close, bitterness enters your heart and mind as you begin to dwell on the pain.

And that causes you to stink.

When you don’t forgive, you allow the offender to continue hurting you.

You let them win again and again.

And there’s no winning.

Unfortunately, you’re the big loser with unforgiveness.

When you choose to forgive, you simply release it back to God.

You are asking God to cover the offense with His peace and forgiveness.

As you ask God to help you forgive, He rushes in with His peace to cover the wrong done to you.

Doesn’t mean you reconcile with the person, justify the hurt, or anything of the sort.

You simply let it go, so it does not control you anymore.

We talk a lot about control, because as humans we want control.

But you know as well as I, that we cannot control other people.

We cannot make them humbly apologize.

We cannot make them change for the better.

And we cannot make them be nice to us in the future.

But you can change yourself.

You can release it to God, asking Him to help you forgive that person.

You can choose freedom.

But it’s all up to you.

I know it’s hard to forgive when the other person seems to get away with any and all things.

But don’t allow the real prisoner to be you.

With God’s strength, you can forgive, freeing the prisoner. You.

Photos by Annie Spratt  and  Kiwihug on Unsplas

Living Within Forgiveness

Published on by amylinnea2 Comments

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:32

What if you lived from a place of forgiveness towards others?

Those who hurt you, often repeatedly?

God, whose faithfulness endures to all generations, is merciful.

He promises to hold you upright as a steadfast Rock.

And He’s forgiven you all of your sin.

All of it.

So what if you lived within God’s forgiveness, granting others grace as well?

You might feel justified withholding compassion or forgivness.

But that’s not for your concern.

Your concern is not doling out justice. That’s God’s business.

If you live without the lens of forgiveness, your disposition, attitude, and even health are affected.

But if you allow yourself to live within God’s forgiveness flowing through you, everything will be different.

Don’t let people walk all over you, but live within the grace of God.

Stand up gracefully for yourself, but allow others to make their own mistakes.

Living within forgiveness frees others.

But the biggest reward is for your heart.

When your heart lets go of bitterness, the ugly parts melt away, revealing the heart of God.

Only possible with God’s love all mixed up with yours.

Would you rather have a heart full of scars and ugly dead parts?

Or a heart with God’s love all mixed up with yours, sending life everywhere it travels?

Ask God for His infusion today.

And run into that freedom He has for you.

The freedom He died to give you when He forgave you all your sins.

Photos by Melanie Stander, Alex Shute, & Joel Muniz on Unsplash

Taking Offense

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Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11

As a general rule, are people out to get you?

Overall, are your loved ones decent and loving?

I’m talking about deep into the heart.

Come on- keep looking.

Bottom line? People love you.

You know I’m right.

They’re not out to get you.

So stop acting like they are.

Stop getting offended at the slightest infraction.

Are you so fragile that one word can send you into a puddle of tears?

So insecure that a crooked misleading glance or sigh can ruin your day?

Or send you into a torrent of angry retorts?

I hope not.

But I see that in so many.

Choose life.

Choose to believe the best about your child or spouse.

Or, gasp, parent.

Don’t hold others to a higher standard than even your own behavior demands.

You can’t behave badly and expect others to never follow suit.

Overlook things.

Because people are not out to get you.

Instead of focusing on yourself and your needs alone, turn your attention to others.

Smile and let things roll off your back.

Don’t hold it in, gathering stones to keep.

Let go of the stones.

Let go of the offense that was never given.

Leave it all at the cross and take your peace.

You are loved.

Photos by Shawn Rain & Iva Rajović on Unsplash

Choosing Misery

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For the despondent, every day brings trouble; for the happy heart, life is a continual feast. Proverbs 15:15

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I know someone.

 So full of bitterness, anger, and self pity, she can hardly function.

Slightest incident can set off a torrent of panic.

Fear of losing control.

Of her world.

If  life doesn’t go her way, she pouts.

Complains.

Measures life under the lens of displeasure.

Easy to spot.

Even for kids to see.

Either she doesn’t recognize how she acts, or doesn’t care.

Not sure which it is.

If guilt doesn’t work, she tries punishing those in her path.

It’s sad.

I look at her and am reminded of how not to be.

When I am in fear of losing control, do I react like her?

When someone does something I don’t appreciate, do I throw back poison darts?

It’s unfortunate to have such a symbol of bitterness, yet I am grateful.

Grateful to have the reminder to pray for her.

Grateful to have an example of how not to act.

And grateful I have God who helps me.

From the balcony of heaven, will it matter?

Will your bitterness cover over the blessings of life, fully masking their pleasure?

Will becoming so upset make your life richer?

How many of life’s happiest moments will be experienced without you-

Because you were so stuck in your bitterness you couldn’t see the beautiful life God had loaned you.

Or will your anger cause you to live without having really lived?

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Photos by Francesco Gallarotti & Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash