Tag: reltionships

Common Conflict

Published on by amylinneaLeave a comment

Do not take revenge on others or continue to hate them, but love your neighbors as you love yourself. I am the Lord. Leviticus 19:18

Are you ever shocked at the ugliness which can pour out of you or your loved ones?

It’s as if sin has a literal face. And sometimes that face is your own.

Relationships really shouldn’t be all that complicated.

Jesus wants us to always put the other person first.

If we all did just that, conflict would evaporate.

If we all loved the other like Jesus loves us, we’d rejoice at serving the other.

We’d rejoice at allowing the other to choose.

We’d be happy to accommodate their reasonable wishes.

But when our flesh demands attention, when ourselves get in the way, conflict occurs.

And once it begins, one rarely wants to succeed ground to the other party, especially because they are always totally wrong, yes?

Since conflict will come yet again, what is your plan?

Will you deal as it comes? Take one for the team? Or be ready with the first punch?

Ask God how He would have you react. Before the next conflict.

Ask God to hold your temper. Ask Him to hold your words. Ask Him to hold your heart.

While we cannot control others, we can control ourselves. We can control ourselves as we invite God to have our whole selves.

When we submit to God, giving Him everything, it includes our tempers. Our wanting to rise up to defend ourselves no matter the cost.

Am I implying we should become doormats to ill? Heck no.

I am also not referring to abusive behavior towards you.

We’re talking normal everyday conflict. Most of it can be diffused by one, you, who is allowing Jesus full control of their heart, mind, and body.

Yet, often our responses invite the enemy to have a hay day with our relationships. Often our ill retorts throw fuel to a fire, which needs nothing to burn.

You are responsible for you. Within normal relationship conflict, will you throw fuel to the fire, or will you calmly stand as a wall the fire cannot penetrate?

Even if the other has lost all sense of reason, you can stay fastened to God. To His calm stand in the storm.

So before your next normal conflict arises, plan your response. Because when it comes, it’s terribly hard to choose the high road.

Choose it today. And tomorrow. And the next day. And the next.

Forgiveness seventy times seven seems an impossibility when wronged by a loved one. But it’s how Jesus wants us to respond.

After all, we have wronged Jesus many more times than that. Yet He still patiently waits for your precious, little heart, too.

Photos by Kelly Sikkema, Dirk Ribbler, & Pin Adventure Map on Unsplash

Foolish Talk

Published on by amylinnea3 Comments

A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion. Proverbs 18:2

What do you think as you read that verse?

Do you immediately think of people who fit the bill?

I do.

I think of arguments or conversations where the other person is obviously the fool.

I feel bad for them.

I’d hate to be the fool.

And when I further think about it, I understand the other person’s problem.

They are so focused on themselves, they only want to share themselves, not stop to understand the other point of view, which is usually mine.

I think of people who are quick to speak, seeming to reply so quickly, they couldn’t have possibly even listened to me. Or tried to understand.

So foolish!

Taking no pleasure in understanding is when a person thinks only of their retort while the other person complains.

They know they are right and only want to express their almost holier than thou opinion, never wanting to ever understand the other person.

We can all identify, yes?

But what if that fool is you? Me?

How often do we stop to understand the other person?

Or do we only want to express our opinions as we are certainly right about this and most other things.

Do you see how foolish we look when we stay stuck behind ourselves?

Even if your opinion is the correct one, will the other person see it when we are so focused on ourselves?

When we are so focused on spewing forth our wise words with the absence of understanding?

A person doesn’t have to say all that’s in their head.

We can listen, ask questions, and offer our opinion in a gentle manner.

Reminds me of Proverbs 15:1, which says, “a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger”.

A fool doesn’t seek to understand, instead pushing to insert his or her opinion.

A wise person seeks to understand, sharing their opinion when it’s appropriate.

I know we see others as fools.

Let’s not forget to look at ourselves as we sometimes are the biggest fools around.

May God set a guard over our mouth, watching the door to our lips (Psalm 141:3), so we no longer remain the fool in our relationships.

Photos by Annie Spratt on Unsplash